Yes, they are Mentally ill

Some parents continue to alienate children and have no sense of what kind of damage they are doing to their children. Yes, PAS parents are sick!

Yes, they are Mentally ill

Jan (stepmom) and the boys on one of many trips togethere.

Everyone needs to understand that the parent, be it a man or a women, that conducts in Alienation of children from the other parent is mentally ill. They have to be! No sane person would do such a thing. They have total disregard for their children and are consumed by hate and seeking revenge against their ex spouse for what they perceive as some wrong done to them. In some cases the Alienator has had a self esteem issue of their own since childhood. This leads to a future problem where even in a marriage they have a need to receive more affection from the kids than what the other parent has. They start PA very early with small remarks about say, the father is working and “dad just doesn’t have time for you now”, “leave your father alone, he has had a long day and doesn’t need you around right now” “Your dad is busy” “he missed your game because he has more important things to do”. They do this to instill in the children that they are the good and caring parent. This is how the mentally ill person builds up their self image in their own minds. This gives them a feeling of self worth by explaining to anyone that will listen, that they are better than their spouse in some way. This desire is again caused from low self esteem that most likely is deeply ingrained in the person. If you look back at the childhood of the PA parent, you will find a person who has never achieved any childhood dream (or as adults) on their own. They are by definition, failures. They were average to poor students, had few friends, and considered themselves above the others children as a defense mechanism.

This defense system worked well for them as children and, as adults in a stressful situation, we see it escalate again. You can hear them on the phone and in the grand stands. Anytime they have a chance you will hear them bad mouthing other people, coaches and players because their kid is being treated unfairly in some way. They won’t take the time to help their children increase their skills or better their game or study in class, because it is much quicker and easier to verbally assault the perceived offender. “Joey gets good grades because he is the teacher’s pet” “Marcy thinks she owns the team, that is why my Lynn doesn’t get to play” “Jeff is just too hard on the players, my son doesn’t like him and that is why Joe doesn’t get much playing time”.

It happens all the time and then you add in the big (D) and the person with a personality disorder, loses all self control and reasoning. They forget about what is good for the children and are consumed with their own image.

Remarry and the mentally ill person, perceives this as the last insult. Remarry to someone that your ex spouse is jealous of and you better be ready for war! They cannot see anything but their own rejection and that notion consumes them. Because they have such low regard for themselves, they will feel very threatened. (my friends like her more than me) (my kids like him more than me)(everyone thinks she is so pretty and they look so happy together) (sure, he takes them places but he doesn’t have to work like me). On and on and bla, bla, bla. In women, you will see them gain weight in an effort to comfort themselves with food or drink. They will dye their hair and put on fake tans in order to combat their own image of an inadequate body type.

Now the fight for the love of the children is in full swing and so is the Parental Alienation! I have no words of wisdom on how to stop this. It may be inevitable is most cases. The presents of close family members seems to be the try that holds the PA person at bay. Their own parents and relatives will see their attempt for what it is and for the most part, will step in to confront the untruths. But, separate the family by distance and all bets are off. The it becomes a matter of choosing sides and offering support.

More about jealousy, hate and root of all evil, money, in the next blog!

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Posted by Just A Dad at 7:13 AM